The Formation and Fall of the Kero-Garu Platoon
by Mizuzu Pelagos
Summary: Garuru and his platoon are forced by the Keron Army to take over the Keroro Platoon and conquer Earth. Will Garuru spare Keroro? WIll Garuru spare Earth? What would the atmosphere do to him?
1. Ch1: Meanwhile, on Keron

**Disclaimer: I don't own Keroro Gunso/Sgt. Frog. All rights belong to Mine Yoshizaki**

* * *

It was a fairly abnormal day for the Garuru Platoon. Normally they'd be miles away from home, delivering supplies to the battlefield or destroying enemy bases. Today, however, Garuru was about to go to a meeting with a not-quite-top-secret military think tank called the GKSCAC (Grand Keron Supreme Commander's Advice Committee). They deal with the inner workings of the army, suggest some strategies, and think of campaigns to maintain the army's public image. Garuru was only inducted a couple of months ago. By then he had recruited two of the first semi-official Keronian soldiers in one hundred (Keronian) years: the dynamic spy duo of Karara and Chiroro!

It was eight minutes before the meeting would start, and Garuru was about to open the door and enter the room when he turned to his platoon-mates. He said, "Guys… and girls, I'm not sure about this meeting. Last time I knocked someone's coffee onto his lap, and had to leave early because people were cracking jokes about me. A few days ago I got in trouble with a friend for wearing shoes in a temple. And the leader of the GKSCAC criticized me for tampering with evidence to save the Keroro Platoon. You sure I'd survive?"

"Oh, you're goin' to be fine. Everyone knows that you're a good soldier. More accountable than Keroro. And it's only your second meeting." That voice was Pururu, the resident medic of the Garuru Platoon. "Also, who's the leader of the Big GK?"

"His name is top secret to outsiders, and I haven't learned it yet anyway. We're supposed to call him by some alias like "Mizmo" or "Corwick" or "Tarwas Mahíl" or whatever. Anyhoo, we need to wrap up the conversation. My meeting starts in five minutes. Thanks for the encouragement, Pururu-chan"

"No problem" she said. 'Did he just call me Pururu-chan?' she thought.

And so, Garuru went to the meeting. He sat next to Bariri, who soon realize who he was near and talked. "Hey Garuru, how's my lady?"

"Your lady?"

"You know, Pururu?"

"Eh, she's okay."

"Okay. Hey, look, it's the leader!"

"You don't know his name, either?"

"Which name do you mean? The real one or the-"

The leader tapped his staff on the floor a few times, to get everyone's attention. "Evening, members of the Grand Keron Supreme Commander's Advice Committee. I am Major General Mephrazdil. My real name is only accessible to the higher members of the committee, so the new members shall have to wait for it." He was glaring at Bariri, meanly, as some members snickered. Garuru winced, even though nobody was looking at him. This was another reason Garuru dreaded the meeting: the GKSCAC was quite hierarchical, and acted like it. Garuru and Bariri were in the small Silver Group reserved for new members; it was the lowest group, and it took a year to get into the larger Gold Group, if you were lucky. There was also the Platinum Group, which was smaller than the previous two groups but more powerful, and the Diamond Group was smaller and more powerful still. Garuru hated this system because he effectively only had half a vote compared to other groups, and he was worried about taking the rest of the platoon to the meeting: he reasoned that the Platinum and Diamond Groups could get away with physically abusing non-members in this room. So, Garuru just kept it all to himself.

And so the Major General of unknown name resumed: "I am here to discuss the Keroro Platoon. No doubt you have heard of them. They're the platoon that used to have a TV show called the Keroro Platoon War Chronicle, that just got a low-budget remake. Anyway, you might remember that they're effectively not in the Keron Army anymore, since they've made zero progress on Pekopon and may not even be interested in taking it over, much less for Keron. And that we had to send in that Shin Keroro creature that is _also_ not making much progress despite being a _living weapon_. Therefore, I've been talking with the Supreme Commander himself on this, and I'll tell it to you Garuru…"

Now, Garuru was sweating as if to ward off a hungry space husky! "Oh no! They know just what Sgt. Keroro's devolved into! Major General Mezzedino- or was it Murray?- knows what I've been up to. I thought I had this in the bag!" He gulped and barely let out "Yes?"

"We are planning on having your platoon go to Pekopon and visit Keroro. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to deliver the final blow to the Keroro Platoon. We want you to defeat the Keroro Platoon, install yourself as the leader, and get the invasion really rolling. Take over the platoon and you'll have far less trouble with us. Kill him and you'll become a Platinum Member immediately. Do you accept?"

Garuru just sat there sweating. "What do I do? I don't want to beat up Keroro! But who knows what this group will do to me if I don't accept the mission?" He thought and thought. He then decided "No, I can't do this! You know my brother's there. I can't bludgeon those boys! They'll never forgive me."

"Very well then. Everyone else, raise your hand if you him to enact this plan."

An overwhelming majority raised their hands. "Dang." Garuru thought; "I'm done-for! Keroro and brother are even more done for! I hate this Committee so much."

Major General Whatshisname turned to Garuru; "Sorry, Garuru. You now have no choice but to comply with our plan. To really prove your might, you shall now have to also wear Keroro's star. He doesn't deserve it anymore. You have one week after entering Pekopon's atmosphere. Got it?"

"Y-y-yes, Major General!" Garuru stammered.

The meeting was over. Garuru stepped out the door, looking glum. Then he started crying. The rest of his platoon overheard what was going on. They were shocked at the GKSCAC for their decision. They were all Keroro Platoon sympathizers. How are they going to live with themselves, turning on their friends? This was also one of the few times the platoon saw Garuru crying; he wasn't a very emotional person, or at least he wasn't in front of them.

Pururu tried to hug Garuru, and asked "Are you alright?"

Garuru still sobbed. "Why did I have to get into the GK etc.? Why did I have to go through this? Why?"

"Try not to cry, Garuru. I'm sure we'll think of something to save Keroro. I'm trying hard myself."

"Thanks." Garuru was happier. But the thoughts still nagged him; he couldn't figure out how to stay on good terms with his old friends


	2. Ch2: Phase 1

"We've landed on Pekopon. We have the Hinata house address. We've got our weapons. Ready!"

"Okay, Platoon. Good Luck." The screen, which depicted a communications program called GK666, switched off. Garuru and his friends didn't take too long to fly to Earth; they actually spent a little longer packing up their things. The robot with the screen flew away back to Keron. Garuru sighed with relief, since HQ would no longer bug him; the others told him they had an idea on how to fool Major General Whoever.

"Okay, Pururu. Speak."

"Sure. While we were packing our stuff on the two days before leaving, we learned everything we could about Pekopon's political systems and nuances. We're not sure how much the folks at HQ know about Pekopon, but we've heard that their knowledge is imperfect at best due to the language barriers. Our plan is we'll take the Keron Star, and then-"

"What?! I thought our plan was _not_ to do that."

"I'm not done yet. We'll enact HQ's plan up temporarily. We'll still have you wear the Keron Star, and we know that they won't take it from you; they said they want you to wear it for the invasion. However, we'll give the Keron Star back to Keroro on our ninth day on Pekopon, the day after they leave us at the very latest, and wear a fake one. Then we'll fake our progress on Keron like what we and Keroro were doing with Keroro's platoon."

"But how? The GKSCAC think tank is fairly smart. Inconsiderate and mostly unlikeable, but smart. How are they going to be fooled?"

And Pururu finished, "We were getting to that. We've made a slideshow on it. Take it away, boys."

As she spoke, Taruru and Tororo were setting up a computer, and opened up Kerosoft Presentation. The slides had good graphic design, relative to a slideshow. Taruru cleared his throat as Tororo hit "Play Slides". And he spoke:

"Now, we've picked day 9 to return the Star just in case the HQ would check on us again on day 8. On day 10, we and the Keroro Platoon will declare independence from the Pekoponian nation of Japan, or so it would appear from HQ. In reality, it's for show; between us and the Pekoponians, it will not be real. It's like a micronation, except even we don't recognize it. Only HQ would." Tororo was changing slides.

"Anyway," Taruru continued, "we will set up a fake spot in a group called The United Nations. The UN is an organization of the almost 200 recognized nations, and exists as a peacekeeping group. Some people consider the organization useless, and on top of that, we will be feigning participation here and in other groups. My plan was to go to a group called the European Union, but Pururu told me that Japan wasn't a part of Europe, and it wouldn't be convincing. After pretending to enter the UN, we'll then create a series of war videos and other pieces of 'evidence' of our conquest. We'll get help from the Nishizawa Corporation, which has metric tons of money and enough cachet to afford letting us borrow some high end equipment and good directors and… Tororo, why did you spell "effects" with a Z?"

"It wasn't me. Zoruru had to take over for me when making the slides. I had to work out that computer virus on the navigation, remember?"

"Couldn't you have saved that for after the presentation was done? We already knew our way to Pekopon."

"No. What is we had to take a detour? And how was I supposed to know that Zoruru can't spell? He never lets me read his letters."

"Pfft. Save it for later. As I was saying, the Nishizawa Corporation's boss and heiress also know about Keron's existence, so they'll be quite happy to save Pekopon from Keron. The heiress, Momoka, is good friends with Private Tamama. With her help, we'll send these war videos and more to trick HQ. It'll be risky, but I think we can save ourselves and Keroro with this. We have the names, addresses and numbers of the major world leaders, and Keroro and the Hinatas could fill us in with more. Got it?"

"Yeah. Just one thing. When we've finally 'conquered' Pekopon, what if HQ comes down to meet us? What would happen then?"

The Platoon was silent. They did not think of that. "Also," Garuru continued, "What if they find out about our tricks?"

"Hmmmm. Good point." Said Tororo, scratching his chin. "I guess we could still fake it if someone from home comes here in person. But as for when they find out our ruse, I think we'll have to take up arms. They probably won't waste their whole army on killing us all, anyway. Remember, Keron is still at war with the Vipers and their allies. There's also a new enemy species of alien that they have to deal with."

"Who? The Megatopians? Why would they care about those clowns? Everyone knows they've got no recognized territory, no political power, nothing."

"To most people, that's true." Zoruru said. "But they think they've got Divine Intervention or something, and they're a violent people. The Keronians are just one group trying to make peace with them, and they've been known to do criminal behavior against supposedly allied planets. They break treaties and love bloodshed. The Keron Army is preparing for them for when they almost inevitably turn on us."

"I see. Well, I guess we'll have to see how this works out. To the Hinatas!"

It was 12:30 pm. The Garuru Platoon had stationed themselves just outside the Hinata residence. They had sent a message to the Keroro Platoon and the Hinatas saying they were coming; their plan was to have a party with them, then fight when everyone else's guard was down. Fuyuki HInata soon invited some friends, like his schoolmates Momoka and Tomosu, and Natsumi's schoolmates Koyuki and Saburo. All of them knew the Garuru Platoon.

Pururu rang the doorbell. Natsumi opened the door. Pururu started the conversation: "Hey Natsumi. We came to check on you-know-who."

"Let me guess, you're here to finally relieve me of that stupid frog! I'd be happy for you to do that."

"What? No! What makes you think we're doing that?"

"You've got weapons."

Natsumi was right. Gaurru was holding a gun, Zoruru had kunai, Karara and Chiroro had tazers and handguns, and Pururu had her syringe. They were a bit embarrassed. Tororo decided to lie. "Um…err….we had a brief run-in with some gang called the Sleazy Twelve. They underestimated our fighting skills."

Garuru tried not to smack his head. "Oh, God, Tororo. She'll never fall for that."

Natsumi, was confused, but she shrugged it off. "Well, that Angol Mois lookalike did take out the Sleazy 25 a while ago. You guys could do that easy. Anyhow, come in."

The aliens were relieved. "Maybe we don't have to fake it after all. Maybe we could trick Pekoponians into thinking we really are their rulers."

All the Keronians were stationed at the Sarge's room to avoid annoying the humans. Both groups had sodas and juices in the cooler, and the Keronians also had Brei-Cola. Soon everyone was talking to each other. Garuru decided to talk to Keroro, Giroro and Dororo. "So, Keroro. How's the invasion?"

"We're still at the starting board, but we're having enough fun. Of course, invading countries is boooring me now, so at this point we're just winging it! Shin Keroro is also still a little too….uh….cutesy to fight, to put it lightly."

"Yeah, I know. My missions are getting a bit boring, too, to be honest. Karara and Chiroro are enjoying the missions, but I've been doing the same missions for longer. And Karara's a huge pain sometimes; always staring at my chest when I'm asleep."

"You mean… that crazed little brat and her friend joined your platoon?"

"Why yes, Keroro. Karara's a spy and Chiroro's her assistant."

Keroro replied, "Oooooh. That sounds like fun! I wanna try spying! Hey Pururu, have you tried these fruit sodas? A foreign exchange student from Italy gave us a big supply at Fuyuki's school. It actually tastes like fruit!"

"I like this stuff." Pururu answered. "Where can I buy more?"

"I'm not sure. I think you could get some at a world market or the alien commune."

Dororo was eyeing Garuru's gun. He was starting to wonder if he had something evil planned, but he didn't think people would take him seriously; besides, he reasoned it would ruin the momentum of the party. Giroro and Keroro, on the other hand, failed to even notice the gun. Meanwhile, Tamama was looking for an opportunity to flirt with Keroro when, all of the sudden, he was staring at Karara. "Ooooooh. She's looking real good, these days. She's like the female Keroro! I wonder if she'll be more accepting of my offers than he is."

Karara, at the time, was talking to Kururu about technology. People often assumed that, as a cute character, she hated this sort of thing, but she liked robots at a young age thanks to her background at Dobaba Industries, and sometimes worked with them.

Soon, the Keroro Platoon got drunk on Brei-Cola… except for Dororo and Shin Keroro; the latter was a little too young to drink it, while Dororo was still wondering what Garuru was doing. The drunk Kururu decided to flirt with Pururu; in reality he talked to Taruru. Garuru then talked to Keroro. "Hey dude, wanna have a good time with Pururu?"

"Really?! You frogg'n serioso?! Awesome! What drink she want?"

"Well, I hope you like punch, because Pururu's about to give you some."

"Oh thanks, Pururu! Gimme!"

And then Pururu, who was more sober than Keroro, gave him a good punch in the face. "Okay, that was the second worst joke ever made!"

"Okay everyone, time for phase 2 of _Operation Gimme the Ring_!"

"WHAT!?"

Kururu was just recoiling from the shock of seeing Pururu hit Keroro when he noticed Karara tying his hands behind his back. Tamama and Taruru shot energy beams at each other, and Zoruru was pointing a knife at Giroro to keep him still. Shin Keroro, in a panic, called Tomosu on the nearby phone: "Help! Help! Help! The-" BAM! Chiroro tackled him and tied him up before he could tell Tomosu the news. Tamama lost his battle with Taruru. Dororo managed to knock Zoruru unconscious when no one was looking, but Tororo threw a potted plant at him.

Soon, Garuru stood face to face with Giroro, the violence having ended. Giroro shouted "Why are you trying to kill us?"

"We're not. We've been ordered to take over your mission to conquer Pekopon. Hold on, I almost forgot." Garuru then peeled the Keron Star off Keroro, and put it on his belly. He resumed, "I've got a deal for you. Since you're my brother and tired of Sergeant Clowny, why don't you join us?"

Giroro pondered the choice. "Hmmm. It is true that Keroro's a crappy leader. But how would Natsumi react to all this?" He then talked. "Okay, I'll join you, on two conditions. First, spare all our lives, and perhaps even let all of us join the platoon."

"Great idea, Giroro. Attention all Keroro Platoon members! Your team has now merged with ours. From now on, we shall refer to ourselves as the Combined Garuru and Keroro Platoon, or the GaruKero Platoon for short. Okay, now go on."

"Secondly, I would like you to spare the lives of our few Pekoponian allies, or at least Natsumi."

"What?!" Garuru was not very keen on this proposal. "But you know we're supposed to take over the world. The Pekoponians here are you captors. Why would you want them with us?"

Dororo butted in: "That's the thing. They're _with_ us; they're friends. They know more about this planet than we ever will. We could at least hypnotize them into working with us if we have to. And besides, cruel leaders have to fight more rebellions." Garuru was amazed at Dororo's logic; he always considered Dororo to be the lone voice of reason in the Keroro Platoon, but even he was impressed at his compassion and genius. And they weren't really planning on taking over Earth, anyway, which would make Dororo even happier.

"Alright," Garuru said, begrudgingly. "We'll spare this house of bloodshed. Just as long as you recognize who's truly calling the shots here."

"Absolutely!"

But Keroro was a bit suspicious, more so than Dororo was before. "Hmmmm," He thought. "I've learned of a theory that Pekopon's atmosphere quenched my thirst for Pekoponian blood. What if that'll happen to Garuru, too? And how do I get my platoon to reelect me as leader? I'm sure I'm more well-adjusted to Pekopon than he is. He can't even use chopsticks!" Keroro was awash in thought, and Tamama was wondering if Keroro was overwhelmed by the horror of losing his job.

Tamama whispered to Keroro, "Hey, Keroro, are you worried that he's going to break his word and kill you? What's wrong?"

"Tamama, my private, not much is wrong. I've just thought of something."

"What is it, Sgt. Cool?"

"I'm getting the feeling that HQ is manipulating him."

"Dude, of course they are! Why else would he take your job?"

"No, Private. I think there's something else going on. I think we're about to get embroiled into a plan. A plan that not even Garuru knows. A plan not only for Pekopon, but our beautiful green homeland. I think HQ might even be planning to take over Keron!"

"Okay, you're going insane. Or maybe the Brei-Cola still has you in a tizzy?"

"I don't think so, Private. I'd like to have a meeting with you and the rest of the platoon, tomorrow. Something smells fishy, and the smell definitely isn't from him. But first, you and Giroro study his behavior. I just know it will change, and not in our favor. And don't do anything suspicious."

"Roger that!"


	3. Ch3: And then it got worse

"Mission accomplished, Lieutenant Yugugu. Keroro's under my foot, and I've got everything worked out to prepare for takeover."

"Excellent job, Garuru. Hope you've got a good plan to conquer Pekopon. See you in six months."

"Sure thing. Goodbye." Garuru was relieved when he learned the lieutenant was leaving; now he could enact his plans in peace. As Yugege stepped back onto his ship, Garuru turned to Giroro, who was acting as his second-in-command out of nepotism, and told him, "I wasn't lying when I said I've got a plan."

"Really? Pururu said the plan was to fake it."

"That _was_ the plan, but I've told you before that I've got my own agenda now, didn't I?"

"Well, you didn't tell me. Anyway, what's your plan?"

"First we'll keep preparing the fort at the Hinatas for attack. Then, we'll fly over to Scotland to kill Mr. and Mrs. Nishizawa. Next, we'll fight Momoka and force her to hand over the corporation; we'll merge it with Dobaba Industries and become mega-millionaires! We'll send an army out to the rest of the world, and we'll be the kings!"

Giroro did not like where this was going, but he didn't say it, out of fear. Instead he asked, "Uhh…. How are we going to kill Baio? He's probably got guards; the Nishizawa corporation has an army was bigger than the GaruKero platoon. We'll get creamed like lobster even if we do kill Mr. Nishizawa!"

"Don't worry. My godly sniper skills will take care of everything that Kululu's technology won't. Trust me, I've done this before."

"No you haven't!" Giroro said. Poor Giroro; in front of his eyes, his own brother was turning into Keroro; a more competent version of Keroro, but also a more terrifying one. 'Garuru's gone mad!' he thought. 'How do I save him from himself? What happened to his brain?'

"Giroro, don't you worry. I'd bet my baseball cards that the Nishizawa Corporation is well on its way to being our weapon!"

"Since when did you have baseball cards?"

* * *

Keroro and Tororo were setting up a slide projector on the roof of the school building. Fuyuki and Saburo were with them, as were Tamama, Dororo, Pururu, Karara, Chiroro, and Taruru. Keroro, hoping Giroro ddin't send spy drones, began to speak, while Tororo manned the slideshow.

"Now, as you are all aware, Garuru has gone mad with power, and is using us as slaves. Pururu told me that he was originally going to fake conquering Earth- I mean Pekopon- but now he is dead serious. I believe it is the atmosphere, as it's what made me lazy about conquering the planet."

"But, Keroro," Pururu said, "the difference is that you've also been a lazy idiot when you were younger."

"Oh come on, girl, can't you let me express my geniosity? Anyway, Garuru and Giroro have told me that he plans on killing Baio Nishizawa and his wife, and then fighting Momoka to gain supremacy."

"What?!" Tamama was surprised, and worried for Momoka. "That can't be!"

"Oh, but it's happening." Keroro replied. "Of course, I think this will fail somehow. Nishizawa probably has at least a hundred soldiers at his castle, probably just enough for only Garuru and Giroro to be left standing. And once those two boys kill Baio, they now have that hotheaded psycho Momoka to deal with. She'd probably strangle Giroro to death, and then use his gun on Garuru. She might even… **Grill them!** "

"I don't know. Garuru's a master sniper. He could probably sneak up on Baio and kill him quickly, then leave before the guards start forming a search party."

"Hey, that's a great idea!"

Everyone jumped up immediately upon hearing Garuru's voice. Fuyuki asked, "How did you even get here without us noticing?"

"You guys were so engrossed with coming up with a strategy for me that you failed to make sure I couldn't plagiarize it."

"Garuru," said Dororo, "I think you're mistaken."

"Nah. The only reason why my new platoon-mates would convene is to create plans for me. Thanks!" Garuru said, walking away.

The others were speechless. It's official: Garuru's gone mad!

Dororo spoke. "Anyway, now that we've confirmed his plan, it's time to air your grievances. I'll go first: I have to design a statue for him when we get home. I guess Giroro was right when he said Garuru's becoming more like Keroro."

"Shaddap, Doritobreath!"

Karara piped up; "I begged Kululu to let me work with him on the equipment, but he kept mocking me because of how cute I looked. Why is it that nobody want's cute characters to play with technology?"

"Actually, I think it's because you're a girl." Pururu replied. "When I took a computer course at the Keron Army College, the guys were all like 'Ohmagawd I didn't know girls liked computers' half the time I talked to them."

"Yeesh, that's how I feel whenever my dad sees me wearing pink pajamas."

"Do you really wear pink pajamas, Keroro?"

"Yep. Hey, I've always liked pink. I think it's underrated. Not as cool as green, but still sweet!"

* * *

Giroro was cleaning his ship, with the help of Koyuki and Fuyuki. He was getting worried about Garuru. "Great, the first day after this new platoon formed he broke Dororo's sword, then he forced Keroro to wash his smelly feet, and now he's killing Mr. Nishizawa? And that's when he and Kululu are not giving everyone ridiculous orders, like having Keroro dress up like a mime just so he could laugh at him and kick his crotch." He said to himself.

"Pot calling the kettle black." Dororo said. "You've been ordering Natsumi to strut around in a bikini and have been hitting Keroro more than usual."

"Yeah, but I stopped doing the latter yesterday. I'm starting to feel sorry for Keroro, for once."

Just then, a bell rang. "I need to go," Fuyuki said. "I have to provide Kululu with this map of the Nishizawa castle in Scotland. I don't want to, but I really don't want Kululu to perform one of his experiments on me." And he scurried off.

Koyuki had the perfect question: "Where is Momoka? Did Garuru include her in his calculation?"

Garuru walked into the room. "Oh don't worry, miss. She's in the basement prison. She'll never escape."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh trust me. I've got a copy robot of me and Giroro as the security guards. Now quit yer yapping! I need to oversee Kululu's calculations on the food and fuel we need to pack. We are going to what is almost the other side of the planet, after all. See you later!"

After Garuru left the scene, Giroro commented to Dororo, "Something tells me the copy robots were there to kill Momoka. It won't be pretty for her."

"I don't know," Dororo replied. "We've had horrid luck with the copy robots every time we used them. Something tells he won't do much better with them."

"Anyway, we better keep cleaning. We leave early in the morning, and we also have to prepare the weapons this evening." Then Giroro started to whisper, "We might even think of a way to sabotage this mission. I already have one. First we put some sleeping pills in his glass of water. Then-"

"What if he doesn't want any water?"

"It doesn't have to be water, Dororo."

"Ok, then. But how can we even smuggle in sleeping pills without him watching? He's probably paranoid enough to check our luggage."

"Oh. Hmmm. I haven't really thought of that."

"Don't worry. Kululu might mess the mission up, anyway. Or maybe Keroro will."

Koyuki asked another question: "Also, I'm beginning to wonder; is that really Garuru? It's so unlike his normal self, at least from what Giroro told me, that it might be someone else."

Koyuki was onto something: what was going on? Why is Garuru acting like Keroro? Why does we want to kill Momoka and her father all the sudden? Will Keroro sabotage his plan successfully? Will Earth finally be under Keronian rule? And why on Earth did Dororo suggest mind control in the last chapter? Was he drunk, too?

Oh, and one more thing: where's Zoruru, and what's he doing? I haven't seen him all chapter.


	4. Ch4: The Nishizawa mansion

The evening before the Keronians left, Garuru ordered a meeting. He sternly, but not abrasively, spoke: "Hello, platoonmates. I am glad you all could come. I am here to discuss the invasion plan in further detail. Kululu prepared a slideshow for us."

Kululu pulled up Kerosoft Presentation, and now played the slideshow. After the title screen and the table of contents, the slideshow depicted a picture of Momoka's dad, Baio Nishizawa. "This is Baio Nishizawa, head of the Nishizawa Corporation, the most powerful company on Pekopon. This corporation controls half the global economy, and even has its own militia. It will be dangerous to confront the militia directly with an army our size, so instead we shall do a sneak attack. We will set up camp to fight a few guards if they're stationed at his castle in..Lokh Lomund, Scahtlund? Kululu, learn to spell!"

"Aw, crud, I forgot to proofread Zoruru's slides before we began the show."

"You mean you got Zoruru to do a few slides for you? Lazy!"

"Dude, I had to prepare the ship all day. Zoruru had nothing to do because you forgot about him! Even Dororo had more things to do."

"Hmph! Anyway, so tomorrow morning we go over to Scotland. After killing Baio, we're going to seize the castle, bring over his daughter Momoka, and force her to give up the company to us. Conquering the rest of Pekopon should be a snap from here! Any questions before I lay out the battle plan?"

Pururu had a question: "Garuru, what did you eat, in between our fight with Keroro and the first morning on Pekopon?"

"I don't remember. It was probably something normal. Why?"

"Nothing, you're just acting all funny lately."

"I'm fine, Pururu-chan. Any more questions? No? Well then, it's to time to discuss the... stratujiis... [I hate you so much, Zoruru]. Giroro, you'll lead the tadpoles around to the west wing, while I lead the adults..."

Giroro had trouble paying attention. "Oh Garuru," he thought, "what happened to you? Why didn't you listen to Pururu? She could have helped you." He wanted to say it out loud, but he said nothing, nodding when he needed to. He didn't think Garuru would take his advice.

* * *

Taruru was driving the airship. He was frustrated; he barely knew how to drive this model, and this one seemed particularly tough due to all the controls. Karara sneaked in to see her friend, and sat down next to him. She was watching him toil. "Hey, Taruru," she said, "how are you?"

"Not very good. Garuru's gone nuts and now I'm driving a ship I've never driven before. How are you?"

"Bored. He doesn't really know what to do with me, these days. Mind if I help you?"

"I don't know. Garuru wanted me to do it. What if he catches us?"

"But he ain't watchin'. And I'm better than you with this type of aircraft, anyway."

Taruru was red in the face; he has trouble admitting his weaknesses to a girl. "Okay, Karara-chan, you win." he sheepishly intoned. "But only for the trip forward, okay, so Garuru doesn't get mad."

"Thanks!" Karara took over for Taruru. The ride was slightly less bumpy for everyone. it was true: Karara was a decent driver for her age.

She noticed Taruru looking rather embarrassed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just... drive like a girl."

Karara laughed. "Don't feel so ashamed. I can't do an energy beam, much less one your level. And I can't lift weights as much. Does it really matter how many things I'm better than you at?"

"Not really." Taruru was feeling a little better. He had just one thing on his mind left: "Why does she keep looking at my work? And why was she staring at me during breakfast? She's creepy."

* * *

When the Kero-Garu Platoon made it to Loch Lomond, Giroro announced, "Well, this must be the place."

"It's Baio's castle! I can see it across Lake-I mean Loch-Lomond." Pururu said.

All the Keronians had their anti-barriers on. Nonetheless, they sneaked toward the castle slowly. They were wondering if someone was stalking them, but they shrugged it off as paranoia. They used a boat to cross the moat, and they climbed the walls. Tamama was coaxed to provide a map of the castle. Garuru looked at the map, and pointed to the dining hall. "This is where Nishizawa likes to go most often, right?"

"That is correct."

"Good. I'm not surprised that Mr. Nishizawa likes to think of himself as the king of Wales."

"This is Scotland. Why did you say Wales?"

No answer. The GaruKero Platoon simply snuck up around the castle grounds, and made it to the dining hall. Giroro looked around, and inquired, "Hey, where's Mr. Nishizawa? Tamama, were you trying to sabotage us?"

"No."

"Hmmm. I think he prefers some other room today. Let's look around the castle."

It took a few hours, but they eventually found the man in his office, with two guards, doing paperwork. The Keronians watched through the window, on a ledge. "Darn!" Kululu shouted, "We'll never get him!"

"Keep your quiet, Kululu. Our plan is a sneak attack, remember? If we all come in, we could beat the guards up after shooting Baio. Just let me set up my gun and we'll be ready." Garuru hastily prepared his sniper rifle, and announced his attack. "Ok, when I shoot Baio, you guys attack the guards before they set the alarm. On a count of three. One! Two!"

"I'll KILL YOU, GARURU!"

Before Garuru could say three, he turned his back, and someone tackled him: it was Momoka! She snatched the gun from him and yelled, "YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING MY FATHER WITH THIS, POND SCUM! AND YOUR COPY ROBOTS ARE STUPID!"

The other Keronians watched in simultaneous relief and horror as Momoka attacked Garuru. All of the sudden, she ripped a rubbery disguise coat off the frog: it was **Bariri!** Everyone was shocked, including her father, who checked on Momoka to see what was wrong. "Thanks for saving me, Momoka, but I think you went a little overboard again. Anyway, who's this freak?"

"Your welcome, dad." Momoka was eyeing the light purple frog, who was totally naked except for his hat! "WHO ARE YOU?!" She roared.

"Uh... I'm Warrant Officer Bariri. I decided to take over for Garuru. Hey, I think that's him over th-OH NO!"

The real Garuru, with a very angry look on his face and several scars on his body, walked toward Bariri, and grabbed him by the chest. "That was not cool, dude! What are you even here for? Do you have no sympathy for us? And don't you have a mission somewhere else?"

"A-A-A-I ddddddddunno! I was th-th-thhhhhinking Ppppururururu would tell everyone!"

"But you were batty enough to force me not to do that! You threatened to use a rusty spatula on me! I didn't even know it was you underneath the costume!"

"Oh yeah." Bariri was too nervous to properly collect his thoughts. Then, a spark lit up inside his brain, and he burst out in a panic: " **Great Googly Moogly! I forgot to tell you guys!** You know that think tank Garuru and I were in? Yeah, it's an elaborate hoax by a rogue Lieutenant Colonel named Mefufu, and he-"

"You mean to tell me that this whole mission was a wild goose chase!? Why didn't you just tell me that, Warrant Officer Barmy? Great, I think I might have missed a mission on planet Doinaka! You total slimeball! Why I-"

 **"WAAAAAAH! I'M SORRYRRY, PURURU! WAAAUUUAAUUUGH! PLEASE SPARE ME! _SPARE ME! SPAAARE MEEEEE!_ "**

Bariri was crying on Pururu's chest, much to her disgust. Poor Pururu! She had no choice but to forgive him, and she was even starting to feel sorry for the goofball, anyway: "Alright, alright, alright, Bariri! We will all spare you. Now put some clothes on! You're freaking me out! And quit getting tears and mucus on my belly!"

"...th-thanks." Bariri sniffed. "You're as kind as a cheese soufflé!"

Pururu was groaning, on the inside. And also confused about his food metaphors.

* * *

"So, what was going on with this advice committee?" Keroro asked.

"Basically, two months ago some Lieutenant Colonel named Mefufu and his friends wanted to get rid of you guys, so he started a think tank without permission from the government. Even though you guys aren't as popular as you used to be, the government thinks it is overkill to boot you out. Mefufu roped me and Garuru in because we actually knew you guys. I talked to the Supreme Commander, and he said that he never heard of Mefufu's group; since he knows it when strategy groups form, this is extremely weird. I have no idea how Mefufu's charade managed to escape government eyes for two months!"

"Let me guess, you spilled the beans because Mefufu was still a jerk to you?" Garuru asked.

"Oh yeah, that too. I forgot to tell you; Mefufu and his inner circle of friends are a pain in the butt to work with! Mefufu created this ridiculous hierarchy system that heavily privileged himself and his friends. He promised to let Garuru and me in, but to my knowledge he won't do it for quite some time. And when I asked him if I could let Pururu into the group, he told me that only manly men were allowed. Actually, he yelled it to me. So I left the group, skedaddled to Pekopon, and was going to tell you but his craziness might have rubbed off me like a garlic sponge cake."

"Well, that's a relief. I guess we don't have to get dangerous after all. I'll go back to my Gundams, now, weird pastry man! Seeya!"

"Hold on, Keroro." Pururu grabbed his arm, and he stopped walking away. "There's still something wrong. Mefufu told us to conquer Pekopon, but we're slow at it and may not actually want to take over this planet. And Mefufu told us that if we didn't conquer the globe in six months, he'd kill us all! He'd probably even do your job for you afterward!"

"WHAT?! Are you kidding?!"

"I'm afraid not. Luckily, we've developed a plan days ago: we're going to send a hoax film to the group to give them the illusion that we have more power over Pekopon than we really do. And we'll send a letter to HQ telling them about Mefufu and his cult-I mean committee. Then, we can relax and you can actually conquer the world at your own pace, even if it means not actually taking over any land!"

"Wow! That's perfect! And then we can send Karara and Chiroro to spy on them and watch Mefufu get humiliated and film it for posterity! Ha ha! That would be awesome!"

"That sounds risky, but cool! Maybe we'll even upload it to YouTube Keron!" Karara agreed.

"Okay, folks. Nishizawas, would you like to help us?"

Momoka and her father talked it over, and told them: "Sure, why not. It could be fun, and then Mefufu won't be the king of Earth!"

Garuru stood up and said: "Everyone, time for _Operation:_ _Propaganda_! Pururu, Tororo, Taruru! You guys get ready with the script and plot. Dororo, you and Tamama get going on the special effects. Kululu will work on post-production CGI, and we'll figure out the other roles as we go on."

* * *

 **Wow, I'm amazed at the reaction I got for my first fanfic. Thanks! Unfortunately, I'm not sure when the next chapter will come up, as I'm trying to think about how it would go. I might work on other stories, in the meantime.**


	5. Ch5: Making movies

It was Saturday, and Natsumi slept in until eleven in the morning. It was starting off to be a nice weekend: there was no homework, Keroro was on chore duty, the sun was shining, and Saburo just texted her saying that he was coming over to their house. The day was looking to be great... and then she looked in the mirror.

"Wait a minute! Longer hair? Slightly taller body? Wait, did my... _AAAAARGH! **KERORO!** YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"_ Natsumi rushed down the stairs in her pajamas, and headed straight to the not-actually-secret base. She opened the door, and stared in shock at what appeared to be a film set. She said nothing as the newly formed KeroGaru platoon stared at her.

"Oh...hey Natsumi," Keroro said. "Listen, I'm sorry about your body. It wasn't my idea, it was Kululu's. You see-"

Natsumi picked up both Keroro and Kululu, and rubbed their heads together as vigoursly as she could. "You better turn me back to normal, or you'll be on fire faster than you can say-."

"OK OK! WE CHANGED YOUR AGE BECAUSE WE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN FIGHTING A TEENAGE GIRL!"

Natsumi put them down, and gave Keroro a mean look. "Why are you filming me?"

Pururu, opening the door to the green room, decided to explain: "Basically, we are trying to create an elaborate film to fool some egomaniac into thinking we conquered Pekopon. We hope this could stave off an uglier, more full-scale invasion. Anyway, supposedly HQ told Garuru to take over the Platoon and conquer the world, but we've come to like this place. We made Fuyuki and Koyuki older, too. Do you want to help?"

Natsumi let out a sigh. "Okay, if you nerds insist. Just turn me back to normal afterwards, okay?"

Pururu thanked her, and went back to the green room.

* * *

Natsumi, Fuyuki, Koyuki, Momoka, Saburo, Tomosu, and Aki were all wearing actual military uniforms, one of numerous items borrowed from the Nishizawa Corporation. They had their airsoft guns, modeled as realistically as possible, on hand, and Tamama successfully kept Kululu from designing the women's costumes to look like something out of a sexist B-movie. Some of Momoka's bodyguards came in, too, as extras. Keroro manned the camera, because Garuru told him his reputation was probably too bad on Keron for him to make a big appearance on film; Angol Mois. Myou adjusted the lights, while Tamama and Karara polished the model buildings a little more.

"Okay everyone, take your places. It's time for our Earth-saving film: The Battle of Tokyo." Angol Mois said. Natsumi was beginning to feel better; after all Mois just called Earth "Earth" rather than "Pekopon". She felt like they actually meant well this time. "Okay, everybody ready for take two?"

First the Pekoponians said "yes", then the Keronians. "Okay, time for _Operation: Greatest Show on Earth_!"

"Okay. You could say, _engañando al mundo_. Lights! Camera! Action!"

Natsumi shot a fake bullet, which barely missed Neo Keroro's head. He was so convinced that he actually squealed in fear. "Ohmagawdd! She nearly **killed** me! I'm gonna **die!** **Save me, Dororo! SAVE ME! HEEEEEELP!"**

"Cut!" Angol Mois walked up to Neo Keroro. "I've already told you several times: she wasn't trying to hit you. We're acting, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

"I've got an idea. Why don't we have Giroro switch roles with Neo Keroro? He's a better actor." Dororo suggested.

Angol Mois liked the idea. And so, on take three, Giroro was standing in Neo Keroro's place. "Okay, Action!"

Natsumi shot again, the fake bullet grazing past Giroro's headgear. She then called out, "You're not taking over this town. It's our world!"

Garuru let out a mean chuckle. "That's what you think! You seriously think that you make a good front line?"

Saburo replied, "Well, we're going to have ourselves from fresh frog legs this evening! You're WAUUGH!"

Saburo was leaping into action, as stated by the script, when he tripped over an invisible Zoruru. "Cuuuuut! Whatsyerface, what were you even doing?"

"I had to go to the bathroom. Kululu wouldn't let me go because of some typos in the script. Since I don't appear for ten minutes I thought I'd slip into the bathroom."

"Couldn't you have picked a better path to the restroom? Are you dazed or something? Or are you just too sad to look where you're going, today?"

It took seven tries to get this scene right.

* * *

The fights scenes were not that easy, either. Although the script had no problems, choreography was another matter. For example, the battle between Natsumi and Keroro:

"Action!"

Natsumi rushed toward Keroro, about to punch him with what looked like brass knuckles. Keroro just stood there, bragging "You can't hit me. I've got superior reflexes." Keroro moved to the side early, and Natsumi punched him in the gut.

"Cut! No, Uncle. You're supposed to jump. Didn't we go over this?"

"But dodging to the side seemed more elegant."

"Personally, stupid frog, I think jumping looks way cooler on screen. Besides, it makes more sense because I'm supposed to be aiming for your belly."

"Fine!"

Take 2: Natsumi rushed toward Keroro, about to punch his with "brass knuckles", when Keroro finally leapt up. Natsumi used the opportunity to grab Keroro's leg and fling him sideways. "That's for the sea slugs, froggy!"

"Cut! That wasn't even in the script, Natsumi!"

Keroro stood up and brushed himself. "Natsumi, could you control your temper today? I gotta act in the kissing scene!"

Giroro and Karara had an even worse scene with Fuyuki. First, Giroro's gun didn't work. Then, Giroro got mad and almost shot Neo Keroro. And after that, Karara had this absurd argument with Fuyuki on film:

"Lime frog, I can see you."

"No you can't. I've got my anti-barrier on!"

"What are you talking about? I can see you easily. You're not invisible!"

"Quit ly-wait, you _can see me?!_ Oh crap!"

"Don't worry, miss. Chiroro to the rescue." Just when Karara didn't mess the scene up enough, Chiroro hammed it up on camera and punched Fuyuki in the face. "You ain't seein' her again!"

" **CUUUUUUUUUUT!** Maybe we should have Dororo or Pururu do this scene instead of Karara."

"Sure."

This sort of garbage went on the whole day.

* * *

Garuru was sobbing in his room, and Dororo was watching in an awkward silence. He slowly stepped toward him, to avoid making it worse, and he asked, "Garuru, what's wrong?"

"I knew I'd be like this on Pekopon! At this rate I'll be worse than the Sarge! First I'm forced to kill Keroro and deport my own brother, then I get beaten up by a deranged Warrant Officer, now I'm acting in some campy C-Movie that HQ probably won't even fall for. Next thing you'll know, Kululu's probably gonna get Zoruru to do the soundtrack, and it'll sound like a mopey version of BrokenCyde or Insane Clown Posse! Wauuugh!"

Dororo pat Garuru on his back. "There there, Garuru. We'll do alright. We can probably do better tomorrow morning. Besides, maybe HQ is taking care of Mefufu and his posse right now!"

"I doubt it, Dororo. We fooled HQ into thinking Keroro was just competent enough to work at Pekopon for years! What makes you think they'll take care of that creep?"

Garuru resumed his sobbing, and Dororo thought to himself the things he could say...

"Garuru, I don't think you'll agree with me, but... you're not a failure."

"You're right... I don't agree with that. Now go away, and let me be."

"I can't... look, I know we can do this. Remember that time I nearly got nailed by those bullies back in high school? And you told them off without laying a finger on them? And remember that time you destroyed that gigantic Viper base? Or that crazy cult with a Kirk Cameron fixation? And who's the one who told that old Bariri into submission not long ago? I know you're a born leader. And remember when Giroro almost sent th-"

"Look, Mr. D. I get it now. And you just ruined the dramatic scene by almost saying something M-rated in a K+ fanfic."

"How did you know what I was going to say?"

"I've known Giroro for years. I'm his brother, remember? Remember when he confessed his love for Natsumi in another fanfic?"

"You do realize that you just gave a spoiler to another story that is as of now unpublished."

"#% $%$ *&! Yeesh, we're pushing at the censors here like never before! Anyway, no! Now get outta here!"

"Yaaay! You're back to normal again! Congratulations, buddy! Now, tomorrow let's get this movie done!"

"Urgh! Fiiiiine! Just don't make Zoruru do the soundtrack! [For Keron's sake, you're more annoying than than Karara!]. Oh, and you Garu/Doro fans, don't get any ideas. I've got my heart set on Pururu for now!"


End file.
